I planted corn, so I could frolic through it and explore my corny, poopie fantasies and be all environmental and stuff. It grew big and hard like a willy, and every so often I would take an ear and shove it up my poopie hole like a big, horny pacifier. Sometimes I'd put a few up there, and pretend I was a peacock strutting around. I even tried the stalk of a corn plant once – it was plenty long, but I love it nice and thick. I looked like I had a big honkin' tail coming out of my ass. I'm not Mother Earth, but I am Mommy Poopies!