Friday, January 27, 2012

Popanator's Luz

Check out my new website: Its actually SFW!!! Yes, this is an image macro site of the world through my point of view. It has Fails and Luz and something for everyone.

Popanator's Mom!

Breaking News - Barbie Has A Cousin With Down's Syndrome

Also, what is cooler than looking at funny images, well, wearing them of course, goony bird! Buy funny Popanator Merchandise and show the world your sense of humour!

Poopy Crossing t-shirt shirt

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Happy Chinese New Year!

Hey, everybody. It's your old pal the Popanator, celebrating Chinese New Year. I have a lot to say about this holiday, and for once it isn't all shit related. See, I'm all about respecting life and having love for your fellow people, but I see the Chinese not having so much love for themselves. It's really sad, like they have some kind of mental problem or something. I might not be a paragon of mental fortitude, at least I don't kill anybody.

If you've never heard of what the Chinese do, they have a government program that orders people to only have one child per couple. I don't know how that'd work for me, my autistic brother Willie and daddy, since between the three of us we form three separate couples... maybe they'd let us have 3 kids between us, unless you consider Willie and me to be Dermott's kids (which we are). Ugh, I could get a headache thinking about this stuff. It's probably a good thing I don't live in China.

The Chinese are all about manhood and testosterone and stuff, so the Chinese have a custom of putting their baby girls outside to kill them. Only a really small number of girls are allowed to grow up, and this has a lot of problems. For one thing, when you have a billion men, no matter how much they shove their cocks up each other's poo holes, there isn't gonna be another generation. For another thing, all those young men with no soft, cuddly girls to hook up with have got to be some really angry people. I'm still waiting for China to start raiding other countries, just so they can get some women and actually breed. As daddy, Jay and Willie have proven, no amount of sex between two men will ever make a baby.

I hear they also treat factory workers like slaves and tell people when they can and can't drive their cars. Why the hell does anybody live in China, anyway? That place really fists me the wrong way.

So this Chinese New Year, pray at the altar of the Great Almighty Poo that the Chinese finally come out of their crazy, child killing ways and embrace the true love that only poop can provide.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Happy Fetish Day!

Today is National Fetish Day! A glorious day of celebrating all your fetishes and maybe exploring some new ones. I celebrated today by getting laid by my new boyfriend. Yes, I got me an Autistic. Before you go, "Oh, gross!" Remember Autistics males all have bent dicks. That bent dick is so bent it, it is a tight fit in my gopher sized poopie hole. Autistics also have a methodical humping action. It is so fun and wonderful! With bent asspie dick I was able to cum 15, 20 times! I lost count after I passed out. So, yeah, you can kinda say I have a tard fetish. Hey, now this one is high functioning Autistic, so he can change his diapers after he has an accident.

Also, my favourite of favourite fetishes is still and will always be CORN LADEN POO! No bent Autstic dick will compare.

In other words? Hold my hand. In other words? Baby kiss me! Fill my mouth with corn! Let me sing forever more! Corn is all I dream of, worship and adore! (Besides faecal matter of course!)

Now, excuse me while I shove a corn cob up my poopie hole and prance around my house! I will also call up that hot autistic man of mine. Hopefully I can get some bent cock up all my holes. I love it when he takes control of me, ties me up, and just fills my poopie hole with that bent dick! It is wider than my fist. THen he takes it out and I suck all the pooey wet juices and we do it again!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Popanator's Speech

Here is my speech and advice I give to all of you. helped me with this one:

Ladies and gentlemen of the Poopie of 69: Wear Corn.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Corn would be it. The long-term benefits of Corn have been proven by Whore, whereas the rest of my advice has no Fist more reliable than my own Brown experience. I will Fuck this advice now.

Enjoy the Condom and Corn Laden Poo of your youth... oh, never mind. You will not understand the Condom and Corn Laden Poo of your youth until they`ve Fisted. But trust me, in 45 years, you`ll look back at Shits of yourself and recall in a way you can`t Eat now how Delicious you really looked. You are not as Corn Laden as you imagine.

Don`t worry about the Poo. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to Squat a/an Poopie Hole equation by Humping Dildo. The real Shittles in your life are apt to be things that never Eated your worried Poopie Hole, the kind that Dancing you at 6 on some Autistic Tuesday. Do one thing every day that Fucks you. Tard Out. Don`t be Smelly with other people`s Testicles. Don`t put up with people who are Smelly with yours. Rolls.

Don`t waste your time on Computer. Sometimes you`re Yellow, sometimes you`re Red; the Period Blood is long, and in the end, it`s only with your Tampon. Remember Poo Bears you receive. Forget the Nuts. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old Retards; throw away your old Chimpanzees. Spray.

Don`t feel Wet if you don`t know what you want to do with your life. The most Chocolatey people I know didn`t know at 6 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most Chocolatey 7-year-olds I know still don`t. Get plenty of Fists. Be kind to your Tits - you`ll miss them when they`re gone.

Maybe you`ll Slap, maybe you won`t. Maybe you`ll have Milk Droppings, maybe you won`t. Maybe you`ll Lap at 40, maybe you`ll dance the Licious Dog on your 75th Corn Kernal anniversary. Whatever you do, don`t Pick Up yourself too much, or Shit yourself, either. Your choices are half Coffee. So are everybody else`s.

Enjoy your Brown Crayon. Use it in every way you can. Don`t be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it`s the greatest Fingernail Polish you`ll ever own. Sniff. Even if you have nowhere to do it but your Bathroom. Read the Mexicans, even if you don`t Hump them. Do not read Fap Cup magazines; they will only make you feel Mother Fucking Licious.

Get to know your Brothers. You never know when they`ll be Autistic for good. Be nice to your Fathers. They`re your best link to your Condom and the people most likely to Suck with you in the Retard. Understand that friends Fling and Sing, but with a/an Retarded few, you should Shit. Work hard to Scratch the gaps in Crab and Pussy Dripping, because the older you get, the more you need the Fap Rags who Scratched you when you were Lovely.

Live in Popanator's Hole once, but leave before it makes you Awesome. Live in Gopher Hole once, but leave before it makes you Large. Jive. Accept certain Stupid truths: Retards will rise, Whores will philander. You, too, will get Lovely. And when you do, you`ll fantasize that when you were Gay, Retards were reasonable, Whores were noble, and children respected their Faggots. Respect your Faggots.

Don`t expect anyone else to Fist you. Maybe you`ll have a Poopie; maybe you`ll have a/an Delicious spouse. But you never know when either one might Hump. Don`t mess too much with your Poopie Hole or by the time you`re 654 it will look 5. Be careful whose advice you Eat, but be patient with those who Lick it. Advice is a form of Poop; Fucking is a way of fishing the Corn from the Great Almighty Poo, wiping it off, Corn Diving over the Fast parts, and Fucking it for more than it`s worth.

But trust me on the Corn.

Go here for more Popanator's quotes:

Monday, January 16, 2012

Happy Nothing Day!

Delicious Fresh Corn Dress Up Game at - FREE ONLINE GAMES FOR GIRLS

Yup, its Nothing Day! A day to celebrate Nothing! Celebrate by doing nothing. Here's a dress up game of a delicious corn cob. I love shoving those up me poopie hole and let the leaves dangle out like tail feathers!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Happy Religious Freedom Day!

Today is Religious Freedom Day! I am going to try to see the point of view of Christians today. I'm at home sick from work. Not fake sick, but really really sick. My nose is dripping shit, my stomach feels like its being ripped out and I'm coughing like a retarded dog. Don't worry about me, I'll live.

But, in the spirit of the holiday, because I will be celebrating all of the damn holidays this year, I've been reading my Bible. Then, I found something interesting. Christians aren't all bad. God does codone eating pooop. He dosen't only codone it, he encourages it!

"And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight. And the LORD said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them." (Ezekiel 4:12-13)

He ordered eating shit cakes! I love shit cakes! This is out of the Christian Bible. Not the Great Almighty Poo Bible, although they are similar on those points. The Great Almighty Poo Bible actually includes a recipe to follow. Pro Tip: The shit cakes do taste really good with honey.

"But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?" (II Kings 18:27)

I'm just picturing it. Its like construction workers of old. They sit on that wall, open up their Disney Princess lunch box and pull out their poopie sandwich and down pee soda.

"If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart. Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it." (Malachi 2:2-3)

God loves POOPIES! He will spread poopies among your feasts and on your faces. Yup, I'm going to heaven according to the Christian God! So, it celebrate this holiday, just read into the religious text of any religion you don't agree with. You might have a common ground. Like POOPIES. Also, bake a shit cake. Your lord has commanded it.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Happy Friday the 13th!

There are a lot of reasons to celebrate today!! However, being Friday the 13th, I have to be very superstitious on what I do. Whenever I go to the side of the road looking for roadkill to play with, I have to make sure there are no black cats. If they cross your path, its bad luck. Sometimes, when I see a dead cat, it makes me very hawnee. I take my ring finger, and take out its little green eyeball. Then I rub my clitty against the opening, and maggot swarm around and it gets me off like a vibrator! Also, when a cat dies, the last thing it does is take a shit. The shit dries out in the sun and becomes shit jerky, so its a nice snack afterwards. But, I will avoid the black cats, because that is seven years back luck or some shit.

If I do fuck up and do something stupid today, it is also, Blame Someone Else Day. I love that holiday!! No matter what stupid shit I do, it is always someone else's fault! Like if I sniff jenkem and pass out and bust my head on the sink, I blame Willie, because his Autistic ass made the floor wet, because he can't piss in the toilet correctly. Wait, I celebrate that holiday, every day. So, in that respect, its business as usual.

The last and awesomest holiday today, is RUBBER DUCKIE DAY! Not as fun as real duckies, but after a good sniff of jenkem, my rubber duckie will talk to me. I lay in the bathtub and I'm always sad that my poo hole gets wet and the poo just floats on, but my rubber duckie I named Pooey tells me there will always be more. I tried making a rubber duckie out of poopies, but he just falls apart in my weekly bath. That is why I had to go out and by a real rubber one. He is brown, so he kinda looks like poo.

Well poopie freaks, Happy Holidays! Also, being Friday, it will be a great time to buy a gift for your sweetie. Here's a couple of ideas. Also, remeber, only 1 month to Valentines day. Your fridgid bitch may not let you fist her poo hole without a gift first! Go here for the Popanovel

T-Shirts for you fisting buddy!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Happy National Cut Your Energy Costs Day!

Okay, now I'm wondering about the point of this Holiday. Whatever, I will celebrate it the true Popanator style. I know I waste a lot of energy, my own! This working shit is stupid. 12 hour days?! I don't even have time to fist my poopie hole. I mean, I end up having to take a shit at work, and they make me flush it. I don't even have time to make jenkem.

The only good thing that happened at work last night was the toilet was clogged. The employees being as post lobotomy as they are, instead of telling the supervisor (me) they just kept shitting in the toilet and not flushing it. I was stumbling in the bathroom during my lunch break to sneak my little bottle of jenkem, and noticed in the toilet, LUNCH TIME! Mmm..... I gobbled that shit up fast. It was yummy too! The day shift poopies even became more jenkem. JENKEM! JENKEM! JENKEM!

Well, I didn't give a shit about anything else during last night's shift. But, I know I'm going to quit wasting energy. I'm just going to call in sick in the AM.

Here is also my favourite reading material I read when I make jenkem. Popanator's Best Quotes. Yes folks, it is ALL the quotes of 2010. Check it out, read it. If it is popular enough, I'll make one for 2011. Just click for the best bathroom reading:

Friday, January 6, 2012

Candy Cane Storage

Hey, everybody. It's Willie the aspie, and I wish Poppy would get on assigning us different usernames. I hate being called "Admin," but whatevsies. When the holidays come around, I think it's a great time for a little winter cleaning. While my ass is usually clean, partly due to Poppy's diligent fisting and partly due to the cleansing effect of my unicycle, Poppy's sometimes leaves a bit to be desired. I know, she fists her shit hole every day -- it should be clean enough to eat off of, no pun intended. But the sad fact of the matter is, anuses are dirty places. And given Pop's risky lifestyle, hers is actually worse off than that of a basically normal person like me.

So I approached Poppy the other day and asked her about her shit hole. She beamed at me, but her smile faded a bit when I suggested that her ass could probably use a good, hygienic cleaning. I was shocked to learn that she doesn't brush her ass at all, though her enjoyment of thongs does give it an adequate level of flossing. Luckily for her, I used to sweep the chimney at dad's farm, so I had an appropriate brush. Yeah, I take a giant brush with my everywhere I go -- like a scotsman with his claymore, I don't feel safe unless my weapon is close at hand 24/7.

I instructed Poppy to bend over, which in retrospect I probably shouldn't have, since we were in the parking lot of a grocery store. I just don't think about things like context, but apparently stuff like that is important to those inferior neurotypical types. Whatevsies. I gave her a good scrubbing out, and I was appalled at the condition of her rectum. She's been using it like a purse! I was all, "Poppy! You can't be storing candy canes in your shit hole!" She just kept giggling like a fool. There was all kinds of makeup, brushes and other girly junk in there, but I made certain to pull everything out of her ass that didn't belong there. If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's that your ass ain't for storage. And that you shouldn't empty your rectum all over a parking lot when a bunch of moms are grocery shopping with their kids.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Happy Bird And Bean Day!

Today is really a two for one holiday! Its National Bean Day and National Bird Day!!! Now, Willie thinks I'm weird for celebrating all these days, but hell, its awesome to have a reason to celebrate every day and something new to do every day! I started out the day by eating a whole bowl of cold northern beans. Mmm.... I enjoy them cold with mustard because that really makes me fart. I really enjoy my poo smell. The more I fart, the more of a fragrance cloud I could make. I even made sure I didn't bathe for a couple of days. That is so my vaginal fragrance can cum through when I fart. I just love my body smells. MMm...

After about 12 or so of enjoying my farts, I decided it was time to celebrate National Bird Day. I went down to the pet store and bought me a Parakeet. I named him Tweety. Tweety was so yellow and cute. I just had to cuddle him. He left the tastiest of white juice leek down my arm which I happily licked up. Then I decided to give him a snack. Now, I didn't have any bird food. So, I decided to feed him corn. I squated over to allow the bird to peck inside my gaping poo hole. He wouldn't do it, so I just shoved his head and body up there. He squirmed around pecking for a while. It tickled. Then I felt the gassiest bubble and pain build up. I couldn't help it, I had to fart! I let out a huge ass fart and poor Tweety torpedos accross the room, going splat against the wall. Poor thing, didn't even live an hour. I hope everyone else's holiday was better.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Happy Drinking Straw Day!

I love holidays a lot and I'm just so sad when Fistmas and New Rear is over. So, I looked online to find ALL the holidays of the year. Some of the weird and bizarre. I want a reason to celebrate every day! If you good bizarre holidays, you'll find a mother-load.

Today is National Drinking Straw Day! Now, you know I celebrate everything in the normal Popanator style. I called over my new boyfriend Chris. He is a lot better than Ethan. He enjoys poop a lot more than that faker ever did. He got his bent dick nice and hard and fucked me up the poopie hole. He got a nice coating of poopies on that dick just for me. Mmm.... I licked that chocolate coated dick while he then pissed in my mouth. I sucked it like a straw. Then after getting his dick nice and clean, he came a gallon in my mouth. I now call his dick my drinking straw!

Just think of all the wonderful tube like things you can suck liquids out of! I can't wait to see tomorrow's reason to celebrate!