Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Intestinal Blockage

Hi, poopie freaks! I'm back from the hospital. This has not been a good month for the Popanator. I had intestinal blockage. Yes, my poopie hole well, was unfistable. I literally went 12 days without taking a shit. Yes, it is possible to go 12 days without shitting. It is very uncomfortable.

I tried everything, from laxatives to enemas. The nurses in the psych ward I was spending some time in was giving me some Milk of Magnesia. That shit does not work. It tastes like day old sperm and does nothing. I bloated more and more. I looked 9 months pregnant.

Well, I finally was able to shit some unedible golf ball sized poopies. I couldn't eat that shit or smear it. I tried throwing them at the wall. Still no go. The idiot nurse said, "See, your bowels are starting to move!" I really can't blame them, they are psych ward nurses.

I finally got to talk to a Dr about my ever growing gut and painful shits. I got prescribed more heavy duty laxatives. A day later they still did not work. I took some more the next day and tried to push. I push and pushed on that shitter. I was screaming agonizing screams of pain. I was on the toilet trying to give birth for 30 min. Finally a small brick came out. I thought, FINALLY, this shit is over. WRONG!

I had another urge to push. I did. Nothing could come out. My poopie hole was in severe pain! I can shove a whole fist up there but this shit was the size of a brick. I felt down there and it was wide. It went from my vagina all the way to my tailbone. In desperation I limped back to my room with part of this monster shit hanging from my poopie hole and looked for something to break it up with. I couldn't find anything! Shit, I remembered I was in a psych ward. I found a pen. I jamed the pen in the shit brick to break it up. It didn't do any good. The pen got stuck in the middle of the brick jammed up my poopie hole.

Now, in the point of desperation I limped to the nurses with the pen still hanging out of my poopie hole crying. I was given more laxatives. Shit! Laxatives don't work. Thankfully, I was going to be discharged the next day. I threw a fit that morning until they finally discharged me. They were taking their sweet ass time about it.

My daddie was so sweet to pick me up. I knew what I had to do being the expert on shit. Hours and hours of research I knew how to solve this problem and save my life. I bought 2 bottles of enemas and 1 bottle of that disgusting laxative drink. My daddie knew what to do. I got on all fours and he shoved the first enema up my poopie hole. Finally, it broke up the brick a little bit and it was soft enough for me to shove my hand up my poopie hole and break it out brick by brick. That was brick 1 I found out.

Now, at this point I only looked 6 months pregnant. I rested for a day because that was all my asshole could tolerate. That was Monday. On Tuesday, while walking around Wal-Mart looking for my Halloween costume I felt another urge to push. Shit! I waddled to the bathroom because some pooey wet juice leeked down my leg. It was ANOTHER BRICK! Shit! I jammed my hand up my shit hole breaking it up brick by brick, trying not scream, finally sweet relief. However, at this point my ass was bleeding and now leeking pooey wet juice.Oh, well, finally it wasn't as bad. After resting and cleaning up the blood. I went shopping.

I bought my Halloween bullshit and the next thing I knew at the check-out counter was I SHIT MY PANTS! Now, I'm getting resonable sized shits, but I don't know what curse was put upon me! I did save the bricks for the trick or treaters tonight as some delicious corney taffy. Yum!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Anna Michelle Walters Nudes tee hee!

Well, I'm home "sick" from work. Okay, you probably think I'm nuts, which I am, but I am depressed over not getting my promotion. My best friend Clyde is sick of my insanity. He said, "Pops, you are moving in a few weeks, you really don't need the money, why the hell does this bother you so much?!"

Well, the simple answer is MY EGO. Yes, it is the monster that rules my life. More important than money or poo or finding a fisting partner. It is the fact I was the most qualified, have the most IT knowledge, but my "autistic tendances" and awkwardness will always make me a peeon. That's why I care. And also I took today off because for the past fucking 6 months I've been a very very good girl. My attendence has been perfect.

Anyway, enough of my rant, here is what you came for. These were harder than fuck to find online, so you're welcome.

Anna Walters was a dumbass substitute teacher who fucked around with some ugly ass 18-year-old student. When she dumped his ugly ass he wanted revenge so he posted her nudes on twitter.

He also posted their text conversations. She got fired and the nudes were taken off twitter. The only ones you can see monstly are the censored ones. Really who wants to look at pixles?! I like the real thing.

Okay, that vagina looks wierd. really weird. her inner lips stick out too much. ick.

Well, that's the end. I'm now going on my weekend trip to cheer myself up. Hopefully I have a better weekend than she does.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I Hate Being Fake

I decided to start this whole hygiene thing to try to get a promotion at work. Now, I'm didn't abandon my love of all things poopie and natural. However, I wanted to get noticed. I researched on line about this "hygiene" thing. It seems so weird why someone would want to get rid of their natural delicious smells, but I went out and bought me a bar of soap and shampoo.

I actually did the horrible vile act of removing all that is sticky and natural on me. It was so strange. I even took a razor and shaved all my fur. My furry pussy and legs were weird and smooth like some type of alien skin. I hate it! Instead of being furry and smelling like that musky tuna scent, my pussy smelled like strawberries and was smooth. It looked like raw chicken. Then was the tough part, shaving and washing my poo hole. I didn't see the point in this, but I have to be professional. Why is it we can't enjoy pooey squishiness at work?! It is horrible.

After that horrible bathing experience, my skin was dry and hairless. I had to lotion it up, because I'm not used to not being surounded in my squishy juices. Although, I ended up smelling more like strawberries. What the fuck is wrong with people?! Why do they think people should smell like flowers and fruit.\

After all that unpleasentness came the makeup and nail polish. Great, now completely fake. Good news is, I never got promoted. Something about mental instability or some shit. They never got over the time I went poopie on the bathroom floor and skated in it while I smeared the poo on the wall. Hey, what I do on my lunch time is my own business!

Although now its time to look for a new job, I have to keep up this hygiene shit for a little longer. What is the point? Why is it we strip away the natural beauty our bodies produce and put on flowers and fruit. Seriously, I don't understand that about some guys. If you want a shaved pussy that smells like fruit, then fuck an orange.

I have a better idea. I should start my own business and not have to worry about all the "fake" rules of the corporate world and pretend we aren't even human but some plastic ideal. What business should I start?

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Shit Storm! YummY!

Well, things are getting better! It is a shit storm of yummy good karma coming my way! I just found out, my financial problems are soon to be a thing of the past! THANK GOD FOR DADDY'S RETIREMENT! The old fucker may have been senile in everything else, but he had secret savings and invested wisely. Also, he's giving me half. You know, for that whole knocking me up thing. My car will soon be mine! ALL MINE! In 7-10 days! I will soon have a house to call my own! I am so happy I can french kiss a big yummy pile of DELICIOUS CORN LADEN POO!


While I was a church today thanking the Great Almighty Poo for my great fortune, I also think of my piss ass enemy who loves to write about ways of killing me. For some reason, he can't figure out why he can't get laid. Hmmmm, if you try to murder a chick, it kinda makes other chicks not want you. Oh well, I would wish the Chris Chan fate upon him, but he's already doing it to himself.

More posts to come and soon the launching of the Popanator business. Can you picture a Popanator action figure? With fisting action!!! Imagine a Willie figure complete with a crash helmet and jack off action, because Autistics can't get laid!

I can't wait to start my own line of the Popanator action figures. I'll even make one for my senile daddie, in his honor. More to come later. My damn Uncle Tony is yelling at me to get off the web. I'll be sure to make one without teeth of him so you can put your cock in his mouth and to shut his ass up!