Friday, November 19, 2010

Straight Jackets And Mouth Muscles

You guys wanna know what's really funny? I've been in the nut house a few times now, and I've developed a pretty interesting wardrobe from all the outfits they've given me. Believe it or not, some of the strait jackets they use have different colors to them. Everybody knows about the white and off-white ones, but this one's a cute light blue. I've heard that sometimes they give you a brown one, just like my beloved poopies.
I don't know why they think a free outfit is gonna “fix” you or whatever- my love of poopies just can't be wrong. It's in my nature, just like my love of corn and how just about everybody loves alcohol. If people just got drunk off of poopies we'd all be a lot better off. I can poop and drive, after all, especially now that the strait jacket's off- although I have just about gotten the knack of driving with it. It just hurts my teeth on long trips, and driving a stick involves some pretty rapid cock-sucking movements.
Really, if you ever wanna drive using nothing but your mouth, it's good to get some calluses going by practicing on frozen shit. It'll give your mouth some powerful pornstar muscles, and it'll even make your breath smell all snazzy and poopy. You should try it sometime!

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