Fun with Jay!

I made a new friend today! His name's Jay, and I think he's the funniest guy who ever lived. He's a homosexual, and homosexuals are so wonderfully gay. He's got the cutest pickup line ever. He'll walk up to a cute boy and be like, "You want some head?" The look he gives is one I'm gonna try the next time I approach somebody. Of course I'll say, "You want some poopies?" I don't like totally copying somebody else's style. But I have to admit Jay's got it going on. And it almost always works!








So Jay and I went to the mall so I could school him on the fine art of poopfiti -- that's poopies on the wall in unique designs. We started smearing out shit all over the walls of the bathroom like I usually do, and he got this great idea. We could bring in some random boy, give him head and leave some steamers on him, too. Jay laughed so hard at the idea that he coughed. I love the way he recovers because he was all, "Ooh, I had to gargle out some of the cum."

So we went to the food court and found us somebody cute. I never caught the guy's name, not that it matters. And Jay was all, "You want some head, baby?" The guy seemed really enamored with us, being with a pretty poopy chick like me and a flaming cutie like Jay. So we take the guy to the bathroom, and Jay starts sucking him off. His mouth wasn't busy, so I let the guy lick my asshole to get me lubed up. I wanted to make sure my poopies could slide right out.

When the guy came, I knew it was time for the coup de grace... I think that's like mardi gras. Anyway, we turned the guy into one of us girls by putting our butts together, and leaving a pair of steamers on the guy's chest. They looked just like tits! I was a little torn for a second. I didn't wanna ruin a perfect pair of C's, but I love running my face through poopy titties. So I did, and we all laughed until we choked.

Blumpkin

Hey, everybody. I got this idea recently when I heard the word "blumpkin." I'd never heard it before, so I looked it up on Poopipedia and found that it means "giving oral sex while he sits on the toilet." That pretty much sounded like the best thing since urinal cakes, so I decided to try it out. Then I hit some bad feelings on that one. Who was I gonna suck off? I mean, there are lots of guys in the world, but it might be rude to just barge into a bathroom stall and starting sucking a guy off.

I mean, it's one thing to be a crazy sicko with a scat fetish, but I don't rape people. That just ain't right. While I considered who I'd give a blumpkin to, I decided to go to the poopy patch and gain some wisdom on my newest quest. While I was there, the ghosts of my corn gathered around me, and I heard them tell me to practice on a pumpkin. "A pumpkin blumpkin," I asked, a little weirded out that my dead, mind reading, talking corn would be rhyming something I hadn't even said out loud. But since I make a habit of listening to dead corn, I decided to practice my oral skills on a pumpkin.

I lowered to my knees, squishing softly in the mud as I crawled submissively to my little orange victim. How it was growing in June I don't know, but there he was. My hand went under him, to play with his pumpkin balls while I sucked on his stem. It was crunchy, but as hard as Ethan was the first time I licked his poopy hole. I just kept on sucking until my mouth got tired, because pumpkins are impotent or something.

Straight Jackets And Mouth Muscles

You guys wanna know what's really funny? I've been in the nut house a few times now, and I've developed a pretty interesting wardrobe from all the outfits they've given me. Believe it or not, some of the strait jackets they use have different colors to them. Everybody knows about the white and off-white ones, but this one's a cute light blue. I've heard that sometimes they give you a brown one, just like my beloved poopies.
I don't know why they think a free outfit is gonna “fix” you or whatever- my love of poopies just can't be wrong. It's in my nature, just like my love of corn and how just about everybody loves alcohol. If people just got drunk off of poopies we'd all be a lot better off. I can poop and drive, after all, especially now that the strait jacket's off- although I have just about gotten the knack of driving with it. It just hurts my teeth on long trips, and driving a stick involves some pretty rapid cock-sucking movements.
Really, if you ever wanna drive using nothing but your mouth, it's good to get some calluses going by practicing on frozen shit. It'll give your mouth some powerful pornstar muscles, and it'll even make your breath smell all snazzy and poopy. You should try it sometime!
Poopies!!!!!