Sunday, November 21, 2010

Carrots and Poopie Holes!!!1!!!!

Sometimes I wonder about my diet. I mean, if you eat poopies long enough, you tend to get some really strange shapes coming out of your ass hole. So I've decided to eat a little bit healthier from now on, so I can get more, better tasting, healthier poopies for my trouble. Sometimes it takes a little effort to pump 'em out, you know. So I decided to shove a carrot up my butt, and see how it went. What I didn't realize is that my ass is not my only potential poopy hole. Nobody was more surprised by that than I was, let me tell ya. Did you know that if you stick things (like carrots) up your ass far enough, they will do more than just stay there? They'll actually move up, believe it or not.
After I shoved the carrot up there, I went about my normal daily business (believe it or not, I do more than just eat shit all day) for a few hours, and started to feel a little strange. Now, it kinda felt like I had to take a poo, but at the same time it also kind of felt like I was going to throw up. So I went to the bathroom prepared for anything- would it be door number one, or door number two? How surprised was I when a perfect, carrot shaped poopy all but exploded out of my mouth. It was like a rocket or something! I almost cracked the bowl again! I need to pad that thing...

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