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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dinner at Uncle Tony's

I have been so depressed latley trying to get over the love of my life Ethan. I thought he was the corn to my shit. *sigh* I have writing my memoirs of my poopie novel, and it iso hard. Ethan has been a bigger part of my life than I thought.

Even my  Uncle Tony took notice. I have forgiven him for cutting down my corn. I realized there are more important things than corn. Okay, not much, but still corn is only a small part of corn laden poo. I went over to his appartment. He's one of the richer ones in the family. He has an apartment.  He looked at me and saw how sad and a mess I was. I didn't even want to eat corn laden poo.

Uncle Tony then started cook. I asked, "Hey, wheres the corn laden poo?!" He was cooking grilled cheese. I haven't anything but corn and poop since March 2010.

Tony looked at me and whiped his hands on his dress. He just stated, "Man cannot live on corn laden poo alone."

"What the hell does that mean?" I just sat at the kitchen table and put my head into my hands.

"You need to stop living in either or.  You need to write your on fairytale. Noone can do it for you."

"Are you stoned?! You need to stop with the jenkem."

"You need to stop depending on people to write your fairtale. You need to write it yourself."

"Well, I have been writing in my Popanovel. I have the first three chapters written. And it is a fairtale about poopies!"

Tony looked at me and said, "See, there ya go. You've been bitching about not having enough money to build your poopie palace! You are a writer. You need to write. Its a itch you have."

"You mean like my vaginal itch?"

"No dumbass, write your novel and sell it. Then you have $."

"And then I will have enough money to build my poopie palace! Thank you Tony! You are a genius!" I gave Uncle Tony a kiss on the cheek. And then ran out and back to my house. I opened up my book and started the next chapter. MMmmm... POOPIES. With my newfound inspiration, I took a shit and then ate it!

2 comments:

Dr. Phil said...

Eating poop is often a sign of a protein deficiency. You should consult a physician.

Unknown said...

Nah, I eat poop because it is so delicious! The delicious corn laden goodness!