Thursday, January 12, 2012

Happy Friday the 13th!

There are a lot of reasons to celebrate today!! However, being Friday the 13th, I have to be very superstitious on what I do. Whenever I go to the side of the road looking for roadkill to play with, I have to make sure there are no black cats. If they cross your path, its bad luck. Sometimes, when I see a dead cat, it makes me very hawnee. I take my ring finger, and take out its little green eyeball. Then I rub my clitty against the opening, and maggot swarm around and it gets me off like a vibrator! Also, when a cat dies, the last thing it does is take a shit. The shit dries out in the sun and becomes shit jerky, so its a nice snack afterwards. But, I will avoid the black cats, because that is seven years back luck or some shit.

If I do fuck up and do something stupid today, it is also, Blame Someone Else Day. I love that holiday!! No matter what stupid shit I do, it is always someone else's fault! Like if I sniff jenkem and pass out and bust my head on the sink, I blame Willie, because his Autistic ass made the floor wet, because he can't piss in the toilet correctly. Wait, I celebrate that holiday, every day. So, in that respect, its business as usual.

The last and awesomest holiday today, is RUBBER DUCKIE DAY! Not as fun as real duckies, but after a good sniff of jenkem, my rubber duckie will talk to me. I lay in the bathtub and I'm always sad that my poo hole gets wet and the poo just floats on, but my rubber duckie I named Pooey tells me there will always be more. I tried making a rubber duckie out of poopies, but he just falls apart in my weekly bath. That is why I had to go out and by a real rubber one. He is brown, so he kinda looks like poo.

Well poopie freaks, Happy Holidays! Also, being Friday, it will be a great time to buy a gift for your sweetie. Here's a couple of ideas. Also, remeber, only 1 month to Valentines day. Your fridgid bitch may not let you fist her poo hole without a gift first! Go here for the Popanovel

T-Shirts for you fisting buddy!!

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