Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Happy Chinese New Year!

Hey, everybody. It's your old pal the Popanator, celebrating Chinese New Year. I have a lot to say about this holiday, and for once it isn't all shit related. See, I'm all about respecting life and having love for your fellow people, but I see the Chinese not having so much love for themselves. It's really sad, like they have some kind of mental problem or something. I might not be a paragon of mental fortitude, at least I don't kill anybody.

If you've never heard of what the Chinese do, they have a government program that orders people to only have one child per couple. I don't know how that'd work for me, my autistic brother Willie and daddy, since between the three of us we form three separate couples... maybe they'd let us have 3 kids between us, unless you consider Willie and me to be Dermott's kids (which we are). Ugh, I could get a headache thinking about this stuff. It's probably a good thing I don't live in China.

The Chinese are all about manhood and testosterone and stuff, so the Chinese have a custom of putting their baby girls outside to kill them. Only a really small number of girls are allowed to grow up, and this has a lot of problems. For one thing, when you have a billion men, no matter how much they shove their cocks up each other's poo holes, there isn't gonna be another generation. For another thing, all those young men with no soft, cuddly girls to hook up with have got to be some really angry people. I'm still waiting for China to start raiding other countries, just so they can get some women and actually breed. As daddy, Jay and Willie have proven, no amount of sex between two men will ever make a baby.

I hear they also treat factory workers like slaves and tell people when they can and can't drive their cars. Why the hell does anybody live in China, anyway? That place really fists me the wrong way.

So this Chinese New Year, pray at the altar of the Great Almighty Poo that the Chinese finally come out of their crazy, child killing ways and embrace the true love that only poop can provide.

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