Thursday, January 5, 2012

Happy Bird And Bean Day!

Today is really a two for one holiday! Its National Bean Day and National Bird Day!!! Now, Willie thinks I'm weird for celebrating all these days, but hell, its awesome to have a reason to celebrate every day and something new to do every day! I started out the day by eating a whole bowl of cold northern beans. Mmm.... I enjoy them cold with mustard because that really makes me fart. I really enjoy my poo smell. The more I fart, the more of a fragrance cloud I could make. I even made sure I didn't bathe for a couple of days. That is so my vaginal fragrance can cum through when I fart. I just love my body smells. MMm...

After about 12 or so of enjoying my farts, I decided it was time to celebrate National Bird Day. I went down to the pet store and bought me a Parakeet. I named him Tweety. Tweety was so yellow and cute. I just had to cuddle him. He left the tastiest of white juice leek down my arm which I happily licked up. Then I decided to give him a snack. Now, I didn't have any bird food. So, I decided to feed him corn. I squated over to allow the bird to peck inside my gaping poo hole. He wouldn't do it, so I just shoved his head and body up there. He squirmed around pecking for a while. It tickled. Then I felt the gassiest bubble and pain build up. I couldn't help it, I had to fart! I let out a huge ass fart and poor Tweety torpedos accross the room, going splat against the wall. Poor thing, didn't even live an hour. I hope everyone else's holiday was better.

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