Disclaimer: This blurb is probably the most offensive yet. If you are weak and sensitive or one of those emo warlocks, click the red X now!
I was wanting to study how to be a warlock. That way I could conjure up things I wanted. Like delicious corn laden poo on demand. I wanted to a witch like Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Not only was she hot, but she could probably point that finger and cause any poopie hole to drop out the delicious poo nuggets!
Mmmm.... so I studied my elements and all that crap. Ugh! Too much work, I just wanted to point my finger and conjure up poopies. Maybe even ghost poopies. I would love to have a ghost poopie float around me at all times and be like my guardian.
After hours of pointing and wishing and chanting into candles it wasn't working. I got all depressed and went for a walk. Then I noticed a dead cat rotting on the side of the road. I picked it up for a quick snack and pressed on its abdomen. MMMmmm... Delicious poopies came out like a toothpaste tube. I realized, I don't need magic, what I need is all around me after all! If I want poopies just go on the side of the road. There is an abundance of poopies! I need to use the abundance mentality when it comes to DELICIOUS CORN LADEN POO!!!!!
May you always have an abundance of poopies!