Saturday, January 15, 2011

Guest Post: My Autistic Brother Willie

Hey folks, it's Willie. Just letting you guys know that sis is too busy fisting herself or brushing her teeth with dead cat parts or something to write to you today- people get busy like that sometimes. Anyhow, I figured you guys might like to know what I've been up to the last few months. Truth be known, I'd be happy to tell you guys if I remembered it for myself. Sometimes I just kinda zone out for awhile, and then it's like Thursday. Which is kinda weird, because Thursday is just one day of the week, and it isn't even a special day. Maybe in Poppy's case, it's like "fist two shit holes day" or something like that- the girl's kinda weird.
Well, I did do one thing that's a bit notable lately. I made myself a sandwich. Even though they told me I could never do anything more cohesive with bread and stuff than just stack piece after piece after piece on top of each other (I like to stack a lot of stuff). So I found some marbles, and some speaker wires, and some orange jelly (because I like orange jelly), and I stacked 'em up. Just for some protein, I also put a little bit of tuna on my super sandwich. It was about a foot and a half high, and my instant calculations revealed that I couldn't fit the entire thing in my mouth.

So I took a razor blade, and I started cutting my mouth open- because I deserve to eat any size of sandwich I want to. And when I got my mouth open big enough, I started stuffing that bad boy down there the same way a worm would do.

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