A lot of people out there think they have the Fistmas spirit, when all they really have is some kinda half formed diarrhea bullshit going on upstairs. The Popanator may not have all her marbles all color coordinated or whatever, but at least... uh, yeah. I love mah Fistmas! Anyway, I see people who've corrupted the season by doing things that are just plain wrong, when they know better. Like the other day, I saw somebody honoring the ancient tradition of drawing a big heart on their door with poopies- only they weren't doing it right, god damnit!
This weirdo thought that stringing up a bunch of plants in some lame circle on her door was good enough to honor Fistmas- it made me wanna fist her poopy hole wearing a big glove made of coal. I know for a fact that that hurts like hell, and that might learn her the Fistmas spirit. I don't know what's wrong with a person like that- don't they understand that this is a holy season of poopies and togetherness? Plants, man, WTF?!?!?! It ain't Arbor Day!
I even saw that most beloved cultural icon being disrespected the other day. Everybody knows that Fisty Claus brings the tastiest poopies to all the little children of the world, with a special emphasis on the ones who don't poop very well. You may not know this, but at one point the Popanator wasn't blessed with all this poopy power like she is now. And Fisty Claus saved me in a very important way- TESTIFY! But these corn laden fucktards have given him the derogatory title of Sanah, or something dumb like that. I hope their shit holes don't even get fisted this year, the traitors!
Spread the spirit of Fistmas!