Happy Independence Day, my poopie freaks! I hope you are all enjoying delicious BBQs full of corn. Mmmmm.... Me and my daddie have something special planed. He heats up the grill and throws on some patties of delicious corn laden poo. It is vegan and delicious. If you jizz on them, like the fake Popanator taught me, you can make special sauce, just like the Big Macs at McDonalds.
To be extra fistive, I've been wearing the same panties for 3 days. I've been too busy to shower, so my panties smell MOTHER FUCKING DELICIOUS! I save up a few pairs I wear for a few days as air freshners.
Now, the only thing that fists my shit hole the wrong way, is the Fireworks ban in Indiana. I can't set off any of my poo laden fireworks. What I would do is take an artilery shell and shove it in a huge pile of CORN LADEN POO. Then I would set it off and corn would just fill the sky, it was all magical. I would dance around below and catch the little corn dumplings with my mouth.
But, I can't complain. I am grateful this year I have my freedom. Okay, not the freedom to set off delicious corn fireworks, but freedom nevertheless. I have freedom to pursue new oprotunties in my life.This is still a magical time in my life. Also, worse comes to worse, I'll just fling corn laden poo against the wall and it will splatter like a firework. It still looks kind of cool.
Seriously a good shit splatter against the wall looks like a firework. An edible delicious firework. I think I am going to decorate my house now. Happy 4th!