Saturday, July 21, 2012

Another Day at the Tard Farm

Normally work stories can be boring and irritating. Not where I work! I work at as a Tard Farmer (supervisor) in a Tard Farm (call centre). As fate or karma would have it, most of my employees are even more low-functioning than I am. As an autistic, recovering drug addict, bipolar, fecalfeliac with multiple personalities I am one of the saner ones there.

Case in point, before my lunch today, I went to the toilet for some snackers. I hit the MOTHERLOAD! It looked like someone tried to smuggle a bomb in their ass. There was shit spray all over the toilet, in the toilet with what either looks like either period blood or anal blood all over the toilet seat! Mmmmm......... MOTHER FUCKING DELICIOUS!

After cleaning the mess with my tounge, I sit and wonder who leaves these wonderful delicious gifts. I mean, this person normally either leaves a couple of corn dumplings or whipes period blood on the wall. Sometimes they even flush their used pads after taking a corn laden dump then try to flush it. It makes kind of a corn soup.

I remember this winter when the toilets overfload. It was so freaking awesome! It even seeped out from the bathroom into the carpet getting all squishy. It was even too much for me to eat. But, seriously, even though I am into all fecal and scatological, this shit can become a pain in the ass. I feel like showing everyone at work the magical period video telling you how to dispose of your magical period products. I remember in January, when I still had hope because I sniffing Jenkem daily, I wrote about how to dispose of used period products like an adult. I keep forgetting that tards can't read.

Thank the Great Almighty Poo that almost everyone there is female and the only males there are either flaming homos or too old to reproduce. If not, there would be daily tard romances in the breakroom. That is just too much. I'll have to check myself back into the psych ward.

Okay, these pictures and psych meds are starting to hurt my head. I'm going to get off of here and go to bed. With a day off tomorrow, I'll be sure to work really really hard on my homework, so this is not my destiny for life.

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