Thursday, October 20, 2011

Period History!!!

This is almost the end of period week, and I can't believe I haven't  even mentioned my glorious blood spurts between my legs. Yes, I have been saving up my pads. I love used pads! They smell delicious! Scratch and sniff stickers. I also love licking the poo streak in my pads.

But, years ago, periods weren't celebrated like this. Unfortunately, people were embarrassed to talk about something some beautiful and tasty. If you don't know what I"m talking about , try licking a woman's snatch during her magical time of month. Also, lick her poo hole afterwards. The taste is DEVINE.

Back in the 20's people were stupid. Here is a silent purchase coupon. You hand it to the cashier and have them discreetly hand you a box of pads.  No fucking way, when it comes to my period I say it loud and say it proud! Sometimes I tell the cashier it is period week! I also sometimes try to explain to her the joys of taking those use pads and using them later in art projects. She always ignores me, that bitch. One time, I came up to the cash register with rubber gloves, goggles, and a can of crisco. I started talking about my weekend plans, but she just ignored me.

I love the old period booklets they have to teach you the magic going on inside our bodies to create that delicious blood. I love to suck used tampons, but before I could suck tampons, I had to learn how to use them. Back in the early days they didn't know how to use them either.

Yes, it says you can wear them 48 hrs!!! Sure the smell would be mother fucking licious and that blood will be black with delciious clots to suck. I know this. I've gotten high and kept inserting tampons in myself without taking them out. I got 3 in there, before I realized what I did. I eventually put my entire fist in my vag because the blood lubed it up and that first tampon was as black as my hair. Smelled good though.

I have inserted A LOT of things in my vagina. I would not insert that. It looks like my retarded ex's penis.

The only good thing about history is that panties used to be open in the crotch and poopie hole area.

This allowed for easy fisting and fucking without removing all items of clothing. I would love to have fun fisting and hot sweaty sex session in public. The only down side is, where are you going to put a fucking pad?

Oh, yeah, people were stupid. Just put a pad in a panties problem solved. As I close this magical period week, I am grateful to be living in the enlightened age. I will peel off my last pad and slowly lick it. Mmmm... I love being a woman and shit.

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