Sorry this is so late, guys. It's been one hell of a great birthday. Yep, that's right, your old pal the Popanator is a year old today. Now, I'm actually a good deal older than that, but I've been trolling the Interwebs and fisting the world wide shit hole for 365 days. That's like 31 million seconds, or something. I don't care, I'm not a mathematician. But if you ask mah Ethan, I'm a hell of a good lay.
See, we normally fuck and fist each other in a position that sort of resembles a pretzel. I'm interviewing artistic talent to see if I can get things like that drawn out, but just imagine what you would do if you had a really great lover, really limber joints, and a love of scraping all of the delicious, corn laden poo out of your most beloved's poopy hole. It's pretty romantic, not to mention hot as hell.
I've been digging really deep into my colon to see what I can pull out for you guys. I don't just sit down and write this chronicle of my life without thinking about it. I really smear my shit across the keyboard, if ya know what I mean. I'm gonna make this year a whole lot better than last year was. I'm gonna answer you guys' prayers for great Popanator swag, the Popanator novel is finally going to be fisted out, and... uh, you wanted something else, and you'll get it. This year nobody's gonna burn my corn, nobody's gonna take my Ethan from me, and nobody's gonna be a funnier, fistier Internet bad-ass than the Popanator. Can I get a hell yeah? Happy birthday to me!