Monday, August 20, 2012

Shitting Standing Up

Hi poopie freaks! Popanator here again! I just spent a weekend looking over my life and pondering important things. I've been thinking of memories while going over my old stuff. My house is so packed with shit, more packed than my poopie hole. Sometimes its just too painful to go over my past and and think of all that I have lost. So, I pack the memories in little boxes and stash them.

Well, I don't want to end up on an episode of Hoarders, so I have to stop that shit. Anyway, while thinking and throwing shit away and setting shit aside for the yard sale, I've thought about how is it possible to shit standing up? I knew an autistic guy who did that. He said it fucked up his inards to sit on the toilet and shit. I am not sure how it was possible, so the autistic fuck waddled to the yard (yes he was fat AND socially akward) and pulled down his pants and took a shit. The fucker did it all standing up in the yard by the trees.

I still don't know how he did it. Maybe he screwed up his intestines by putting one too many things up his poopie hole. I don't know. It is very rare for someone to be able to do this succesfully. I should have taken a picture when I had the chance. I always wondered why if he had to shit standing up why he didn't do it over a toilet. Must be an autism thing to where they love to share all the intimate details of their life with the world.

The closest I've been able to come to shitting standing up is a shart. It is where you fart and shit leaks out. I don't know if that is the same, because it is liquid. It requires no pushing of the poopie hole muscles. So, it is just poo juice leaking out of the hole. Now, I've seen that happen right in front of me at church. The guy got so pissed off whenever I offered to help him clean it up with my tounge. Hey, I was just trying to be a helpful church lady.

Well, I'm going to keep trying shitting standing up. I always end up in a squat. However, my boyfriend would love it better if the poopies splattered on his face from higer up. He loves that shit. He loves to lay down in the bathtub while I just squat over him and just rub that delicious corn laden poo all over his furry body. Tee hee!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Not all autistic peeps are like that! I have a younger brother who is autistic (he is 8 years my junior) and he knows how to use a toilet everytime he needs a bathroom break. Plus, my brother may be on a little pudgy side, but he's not fat! Oh, and he has plenty of friends too and he also gets along well with pretty much anyone he meets. Grow up and get a life, you misinformed reject!