Friday, December 23, 2011

Happy Fistivus!

HAPPY FISTIVUS, Poopie freaks! You may be asking was Fistivus is. Well, its a Jewish Holiday. Because the Jews don't believe in Santa, they have to have their own fisting Holiday. Its 8 days of fisting fun! In a way, it makes me jealous. When I was a little girl, I was told you were only fisted on Fistmas, and that's if you have been good all year. With Fistivus, you get fisted for 8 days whether you've been good or bad. And I for one, have been very bad this year.

To decorate for the fisting holiday, the Jews set out 8 rubber fists. Each one is bigger than the rest. Very few can fit the largest fist up their poopie hole. They even play the driedel game. What they do is shove that driedel up their poopie hole and then fart it out! I"m not sure what happens after that, but the winner gets a pile of Jew gold! Then the Jews put the Jew gold up their noses. That is why their noses are so big.

It makes me want to convert to Judiasm, if it wasn't for the eternal damnation thing. I guess its a trade off for what we decide. Jews get hellfire, but they also get 8 days of fisting fun. *sigh*


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