Thursday, December 15, 2011

Drunk Off My Ass

The other day I was thinking about how I could take the edge off of all the crazy stuff that's been happening lately. I mean Willie got married and promoted, Ethan left me, and sometimes mah poopy hole just can't feel full, no matter how deeply I fist it. So I decided to get as drunk as I could, and I've even heard that people like to pour booze into their poo holes to get drunk faster without boozy breath.

So I took a couple bottles of Dermott's good stuff, and stuck the bottle into my shit hole. That was okay, but when I got back into a sitting position all the alcohol just fell out of me like unsatisfying quick diarrhea. It hadn't even turned that yummy brown color yet (I used vodka). So I decided to improvise and soaked a few tampons in the booze. I tried vodka, whiskey and rum, and I tell ya, as a woman who regularly eats shit, vodka and rum just aren't that great. Rum is like that time I put a rusty chain up my poo hole -- that wasn't as much fun as it sounds. And vodka just burns, so whatever on that. But oh my God, whiskey is like pure, well aged liquid poopies in a bottle.

I lay there feeling the warmth of the whiskey pour inside my ass like the semen-covered fist of my sweet Ethan, and things felt a little better for awhile. I might do this again later on, because I felt this warm numbness creep into my whole body and I liked it a lot.

Maybe you didn't know about the time I put a rusty chain up mah poopy hole, and that's okay. There's probably a lot of the old Popanator's exploits you didn't know about before. That's why I took everything I ever did on all those forums where people meet me and put them all in a book, my little Popanovel. If you've ever been curious about EVERYTHING I've done online over the past year, picking up a copy of my book is the best way to find out. Some of those threads don't even exist anymore, except in my book.

If you've been laughing your whiskey-filled poo hole off at all the things I do, you'll love reading my book. So grab a copy today, and share it with someone you'd like to fist.

Buy the book here:

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