I saw some birds shitting on cars, so I figured I'd give it a try. I started out with just leaving a cute little steamer on the hood of a car – but that wasn't enough. I felt like it needed more of a theme, so I took another shit (a nice longie) on top, kinda like how people paint lightning bolts on the sides. Then I got to thinking about it, and figured that cars are supposed to go fast – and so are poopies! So I decided to have a shit race, and get a little excitement into my life. One of the poopies came out with a little corny crown on it – like it just knew it was gonna win. They were off, slogging down the windshield like a pair of little brown thoroughbreds. Little Corny didn't win – but how can you ever lose, when there's poop involved?
