Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Fun With Condoms

Well, shiz bisques, I think my doctor is going to put me on psych meds again. I just got so tired of being reminded about condoms (since I USE THEM) preventing pregnancy. Here is a conversation I had with a nurse before getting yet another cunt exam.

The fat ass nurse with an annoying voice said, "Well, if you aren't using protection, then you are just trying to get pregnant."

Being sick of hearing this, "You know condoms are only 99% effective if used properly. Meaning, with all the sex I've had in my life, my number was due to come up again."

The nurse not wanting to hear this said, "Condoms only work if you use them! They don't work if you leave them on your night stand!" Why is it idiots think condoms are the end all to everything avoiding pregnancy? Even your seasoned hookers who use condoms every time end up with at least 1 or 2 nasty surprises in their life.

I finally got fed up and spoke up. "You know, condoms are only 99% effective. So is shooting yourself in the face with a shot gun to commit suicide. Most of the time, you get what you want. 1% of the time you end up with a bloody life changing mess." She walked out quietly. Now, the doctor is wanting me to go back on my meds.

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