Sunday, May 5, 2013

I'M BACK!

After a very long and grueling illness, I'm back!!! Come on, you didn't think a little bug could kill me, did you? Being in and out of hospitals since October has left me unemployed once more. Well, not for long, because I start a new job next week, but yeah, you get the point.

During my last stay at the hospital on April 4th, I was laying in bed, with an IV stuck in my arm, yet again.I haven't ate or drank in 5 days. Then I saw a vision, it look like the biggest poopie I've ever seen, specked in corn with a mouth that also had corn for teeth. The giant poo floated down from the ceiling on to my bed. I thought great, I've been off my psych meds so now I'm seeing things again. But, no, this was different. The poopie spoke to me. He had a loud booming voice and said, "Oh, great priestest of the Great Almighty Poo Church, I shall spare you. You will once again, be healthy! You must however, spread the gospel of the Great Almighty Poo!" The spirit  of the Great Almighty Poo floated into me, like you floating into me, or me floating into you.

I passed out. On April 5th, I woke up. I no longer felt the normal blinding pain stomach pain, I've been so used to. I actually ate and drank with no vomiting! The POO spared me! On April 6th, I went out for a walk. Yes, the sun was blinding and reflected off my pale, my face was still dry. Each day, I got healthier and healthier. I was back to enjoying delicious corn cobs! I was able to poo again! I once again had DELICIOUS CORN LADEN POO!

One month later, I feel about 10 years young than I had in years! It was a miraculous recovery! My doctor says my recovery was a little too miraculous. However, my psychatrist says I need to go back on my psych meds asap. Nah, I've been without them for a month.I don't need them! I'm full of the poo!

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