Thursday, October 18, 2012

I Hate Being Fake

I decided to start this whole hygiene thing to try to get a promotion at work. Now, I'm didn't abandon my love of all things poopie and natural. However, I wanted to get noticed. I researched on line about this "hygiene" thing. It seems so weird why someone would want to get rid of their natural delicious smells, but I went out and bought me a bar of soap and shampoo.

I actually did the horrible vile act of removing all that is sticky and natural on me. It was so strange. I even took a razor and shaved all my fur. My furry pussy and legs were weird and smooth like some type of alien skin. I hate it! Instead of being furry and smelling like that musky tuna scent, my pussy smelled like strawberries and was smooth. It looked like raw chicken. Then was the tough part, shaving and washing my poo hole. I didn't see the point in this, but I have to be professional. Why is it we can't enjoy pooey squishiness at work?! It is horrible.

After that horrible bathing experience, my skin was dry and hairless. I had to lotion it up, because I'm not used to not being surounded in my squishy juices. Although, I ended up smelling more like strawberries. What the fuck is wrong with people?! Why do they think people should smell like flowers and fruit.\

After all that unpleasentness came the makeup and nail polish. Great, now completely fake. Good news is, I never got promoted. Something about mental instability or some shit. They never got over the time I went poopie on the bathroom floor and skated in it while I smeared the poo on the wall. Hey, what I do on my lunch time is my own business!

Although now its time to look for a new job, I have to keep up this hygiene shit for a little longer. What is the point? Why is it we strip away the natural beauty our bodies produce and put on flowers and fruit. Seriously, I don't understand that about some guys. If you want a shaved pussy that smells like fruit, then fuck an orange.

I have a better idea. I should start my own business and not have to worry about all the "fake" rules of the corporate world and pretend we aren't even human but some plastic ideal. What business should I start?

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