Monday, September 17, 2012
Greetings, Popanator freaks! You may ask what I am doing posting at 10AM on a Monday, well, I've had a bad weekend. I spent all weekend in bed puking. At first puking is erotic because I get to role around in it. Its all brown and squishy like my poop, but then it gets old. You know, you can throw out your back if you puke too hard? Yeah, you really can do that. I'm now laying here making sure I don't go to the hospital for dehydration while resting my back. I'm just sipping my grape juice ever so slowly... :( I have more details in my more personal journal. So, to cheer myself up, I've been watching Chris Chan videos. You know Chris Chan knows a lot about dating. He even talked about Dating Education. He has some really good tips for the Autistic Male out there who cannot find pussy. Now, they don't apply to the Autistic female. The only good thing about being female is as long as you have a hole it will get filled. Don't knock it. Males have so many more advantages when it comes to being stronger, getting promoted faster on the job, and less likely to get raped and get those holes filled when they don't want them filled. So, here it is: Dating Tips For the Autistic Male: 1.) Get a makeover. Chrissy here, has dumped his medallion and and stripped shirts. He has put on a more modern mini skirt and a bright red tank. The red is sure to attract someone's eye. The bedazzling on the ass really draw attention to dat ass! 2.) Exercise. Women love a fit mate. They may look over your major personality defects if you have a nice fit body. Well, at least for a while. I did date someone more psycho than me for a long time, because he was, well hot. However, his disgusting personality finally got me in the end. So, exercise so you can distract the female with your hot body for a few months. As Chrissy shows you here, dancing is a good way to burn the calories. 3.) Practice your sweet talk. Here Chrissy shows you on a date with his mom. Hopefully this is practice, however, he may just be that desperate. He practices his pick up lines over his happy meal. He tells his mom how pretty she always is. This way he can gauge what he can say on a real date. 4.) Practice your best sex moves. Now when you finally get your girlfriend, one night stand, or prostitute into the bedroom (yeah right!), you don't want to be inexperienced. A woman likes a man with experience. In order to look like a fumbling virgin, Chrissy shows you how to practice on your blow up doll 5.) Finally, just take what you can get. Seriously, I've seen so many dating adds of Autistic males, Chris Chan included and their standards are way too high. I always want to ask them, so what do you bring to the table? Oh, a pokemon collection. Yawn! If you have servere personality defects brought on by Autism (Hey, I'm autistic myself), you can't expect a super model unless you make a lot of $$$. No, Autistics are not a master race or anything. They are just the leaders in special ed class. Yes, I will get hate from fellow Aspies, but its true. That is why I am a curbie. So, Chrissy finally takes what he can possibly hope to get, a blow up doll. At least they had a romantic date at McD's.
Posted by Poppy War at 9/17/2012 10:16:00 AM