Tomorrow is Barbie Day. That is the day my favourite toy of the hold wide world was born! Now, why would someone like me give a corn laden poopie? I'll tell you why. I do seriously lack in the social skills department. Almost as bad as my Autistic Brother Willie. I found it hard to talk to real life people. Also, add the fact that I do have some interesting hobbies. Sadly, not everyone enjoys and worships poopies like I do. I don't know why. I guess, its like an Autistic obsession. I mean, look at how useful poopies are. They are food, building materials, even toys. Okay, back on topic.
Well, since I didn't have many flesh and bone friends, I had to come up with substitutes. For the longest time, I did use Barbie dolls as sex toys. I love their small plastic bodies and how they would easily fit up my poopie hole. It also made for good photo opportunities. I loved how Barbie is just a willing partner. I could even shove her head first in my poopie hole then plop her out all covered in delicious corn laden poo and her smile never fades.
Then, one night while sniffing a butt-load of jenkem, I found another use for my Barbies. My Barbies started to talk to me. We would have conversations about poopies. See, Barbie can have any personality you want her too. It isn't all about hair and fashion, unless you want it to be. She is like the perfect little person. Sniff enough jenkem and she'll talk to you. She'll laugh at your jokes. And when you are hawnee you can insert her and your friends in\to your poopie hole.
Barbie is definitely Woman of The Year. Actually, she is the perfect woman. She can't even gossip, because if you are sober she can't talk. She just smiles with that long blonde hair and perfect perky tits just waiting for you to have your way with her. Then you can toss her aside. She is still happy and will not nag.
She even promotes awesome values, like getting a job. A lot of women don't like to work, so they have lots of kids and depend on a man to support them. But, does Barbie? No way! She never reproduced and she has her own dream house. Ken is an accessory, you don't even need him. Although, I do like to take 2 ken dolls, smear them in poop and have Ken on Ken sex. That is hawt! Also, Barbie is 53-years old. She never got fat. Her active lifestyle keeps her thin. She also focuses on dressing decent. So, whenever Barbie isn't being used as a sex toy she's also an awesome role model.
Happy Birthday to the hot amazing chick who isn't afraid of a little work! Excuse me, i need to go masturbate.