Asspie Power!

Sometimes I forget how a person can have so many sides to their personality. Take my autistic brother Willie for instance. He's an ass pie with some superhuman abilities, but he's also kind of a dunce sometimes. I'm not calling myself a rocket scientist, although he might be able to pull that off. I'm just saying I have no idea how he got promoted the other day. See, Willie works for the same company I do, just in a different section. I work in the call center dealing with people who can't poop (poor souls), while he works in some office with computers and numbers and stuff.
He got promoted, people. I'm not happy about that. I mean, I hang out with Willie sometimes, and he's a pretty good brother but he's not that responsible. Sometimes we like to sit up on the hay bales and shoot pebbles out of our poopy holes. It's a neat little bonding ritual we've got, to see who can shoot stuff a little farther than the other can. I was impressed one time when he shot a bottle cap out of his ass, because those things chafe somethin' awful. He even made it spin somehow, which gave me some respect for the boy. I still call him a boy even though he's 30 years old- he earns it.
I don't see how he can make it to management. Willie's just so immature I can't see him managing anybody. He can't even make a sandwich for himself! He ties his shoes in sailor's knots, and half the time he ties them to his pant legs. I don't know how he manages that. It's like some kind of autistic mystery.