I Still Miss Ethan

Okay poopie freaks, I have a confession to make. Actually an embarrassing confession. I still think about Ethan and the fun times we had together. I know he's probably moved on and is fisting some random whore's poopie hole. I heard he's been cybering a lot on the Internet with random chicks, but cannot get any to cyber with him for more than 5 minutes when he starts talking about bending over and getting his poopie hole fisted. I know this, because I talked to one of his online friends, some skank named Cora. She chased him for a while and just stopped, I guess its because he lives in a trailer and she wants a higher standard of living.

I was sitting on the toilet at work yesterday making lunch. I only had a little skinny turd. WTF? I went to whipe and I couldn't whipe it all off. I mean, I used a half of roll of toilet paper. I ended up putting back on my underwear thinking I had it all, but later, I had a big poopie stain in my underwear! How the fuck does this happen. I licked it off and started whiping again and had even more delicious poo smears on the toilet paper. I'm still trying to figure out how I got that much poopie smeared on my ass.

Then I started to think of my Ethan. Whenever I went poopie, he would help me clean up. He would spread apart my ass cheeks gently and start licking. He would not stop until my asshole was so clean it sparkled. He would even stick his tongue inside my poopie hole to make sure no other poopies sneaked out. I still love Ethan, but he probably never thinks of me. I wonder if he forgives me. It was so long ago I don't remember what I did to piss him off.

Until then, I'm stuck with using a package of wet wipes. They are Disney Princess, so I can at least feel like royalty when I whipe. But, Ethan made me feel like a real princess whenever he licked me clean.

Fun with Jay!

I made a new friend today! His name's Jay, and I think he's the funniest guy who ever lived. He's a homosexual, and homosexuals are so wonderfully gay. He's got the cutest pickup line ever. He'll walk up to a cute boy and be like, "You want some head?" The look he gives is one I'm gonna try the next time I approach somebody. Of course I'll say, "You want some poopies?" I don't like totally copying somebody else's style. But I have to admit Jay's got it going on. And it almost always works!








So Jay and I went to the mall so I could school him on the fine art of poopfiti -- that's poopies on the wall in unique designs. We started smearing out shit all over the walls of the bathroom like I usually do, and he got this great idea. We could bring in some random boy, give him head and leave some steamers on him, too. Jay laughed so hard at the idea that he coughed. I love the way he recovers because he was all, "Ooh, I had to gargle out some of the cum."

So we went to the food court and found us somebody cute. I never caught the guy's name, not that it matters. And Jay was all, "You want some head, baby?" The guy seemed really enamored with us, being with a pretty poopy chick like me and a flaming cutie like Jay. So we take the guy to the bathroom, and Jay starts sucking him off. His mouth wasn't busy, so I let the guy lick my asshole to get me lubed up. I wanted to make sure my poopies could slide right out.

When the guy came, I knew it was time for the coup de grace... I think that's like mardi gras. Anyway, we turned the guy into one of us girls by putting our butts together, and leaving a pair of steamers on the guy's chest. They looked just like tits! I was a little torn for a second. I didn't wanna ruin a perfect pair of C's, but I love running my face through poopy titties. So I did, and we all laughed until we choked.

Blumpkin

Hey, everybody. I got this idea recently when I heard the word "blumpkin." I'd never heard it before, so I looked it up on Poopipedia and found that it means "giving oral sex while he sits on the toilet." That pretty much sounded like the best thing since urinal cakes, so I decided to try it out. Then I hit some bad feelings on that one. Who was I gonna suck off? I mean, there are lots of guys in the world, but it might be rude to just barge into a bathroom stall and starting sucking a guy off.

I mean, it's one thing to be a crazy sicko with a scat fetish, but I don't rape people. That just ain't right. While I considered who I'd give a blumpkin to, I decided to go to the poopy patch and gain some wisdom on my newest quest. While I was there, the ghosts of my corn gathered around me, and I heard them tell me to practice on a pumpkin. "A pumpkin blumpkin," I asked, a little weirded out that my dead, mind reading, talking corn would be rhyming something I hadn't even said out loud. But since I make a habit of listening to dead corn, I decided to practice my oral skills on a pumpkin.

I lowered to my knees, squishing softly in the mud as I crawled submissively to my little orange victim. How it was growing in June I don't know, but there he was. My hand went under him, to play with his pumpkin balls while I sucked on his stem. It was crunchy, but as hard as Ethan was the first time I licked his poopy hole. I just kept on sucking until my mouth got tired, because pumpkins are impotent or something.