How to Get Over Losing A Soul Mate

There is only one way to get over a soul mate. I've been pondering a long long time on this topic and I already know the answer! You get over losing a soul mate by changing your soul! Okay, poopie freaks, if this is too serious for you, you may want to skip to the next post.

I am posting this today, because it weighed heavily on my mind since I first woke up. I have been working really hard on, well, for lack of better words "fixing myself". It has been 85 days since I first started this process. In this time I have not only found independence but I've experienced emotions I never thought I could. I've gotten over fear and learned to live how to live fearless. I've experienced joy and the crushing since of heartache. Severe heartache, the type where you don't want to get out of bed in the morning to go to work and school. But you know what, I still do it.

Now, my point. I believed I had a soul mate. Maybe at that time in my development, he was. I know, I know I was sadly mistaken. I was trapped in a situation I could not grow. If you get told over and over again you are a useless piece of shit (not the good kind) you start to believe it. If you get told over and over again you will not amount to anything and that you are not even worth saving, you believe that too. I sincerely believe it took divine intervention for me to stand up and say:

 

I escaped... barely. I won't get into that part. Yes, sometimes I still think about my old soul mate. Part of it is longing for an easier time. But seriously, writing this out is therapeutic. What kind of retarded bullshit makes me want to go back just to be yelled at and put down. No wonder why I had to have something numb the pain all the time.

Holy fucking shit! I'm insane. Right now, I am in a place, and yes I am independent something I thought I could never be. Not only am I surviving, I am thriving. I am getting healthier. My skin has colour! Its no longer a sickeningly pale shade of white. I have friends who care about me. Most importantly I care about me.

The nervous breakdown I had in April was a gift. If I would not have gotten fed up and told the people in my life I am not going to take it anymore, I would not have all that I have now. Yes, I am poor, but I can put money into savings today. I have little, but it is mine. Most importantly I have self-respect. I love myself and respect myself.

I read a Facebook post about me weeks ago about how I am unable to take care of  myself. I can laugh at it today. I read lots of lies about me on Facebook. Accusatory slandering stuff. Today, I don't need to worry about it. The people who know me and love me as a person knows its just lies.

Yes, this year I've lost a lot. I've lost my sense of security. My "soul-mate" decided to turn on me. I'm still having rumours get back to me. However, I was shocked when young man told me he was glad he got to know me first before listening to the rumours. I was touched. There are still good people out there.

I am still learning and still growing. I know I have a lot of growing I need to do. Sometimes my soul will yearn for the past, but I have a better future on the horizon. Yes, it is a lot of hard work, but it is worth it. I am getting better each day. My soul is changing and growing.

Thank you for those who read to the end. I just needed to get this off my chest. Now, I feel a lot lighter and could go back to writing something a lot funnier.

Fap Material

I've just been sitting here, homework done in that little freetime between work and group therapy! YAY! I figured I might as well fap. My magical period week is comming to a close. I always wonder why near the end of it, my blood smells really fishy. You know that smell you get right after some random guy shoots a load of sperm in you. Well, I'm guessing it is 3 week old sperm finally falling out of my crab laden cunt. I am picturing the smell of that cunt in the pic. Fishy! I'd gladly give that a lick!



Check this out! This is something I'm looking forward to doing with my boyfriend next week. I love it when he uses me as his personal toilet. Also, those granny panties are hot! I'd sniff them while she's wearing them. I can imagine the fishy smell. Mmmm...



Soup! And its CORN LADEN! OH MY GOD! That has to be mother fucking delicious! Tuna scented, corn tasting, mmmm, perfect culinary art!



Speaking of art, I just want to give that a nice long lick! Mmmmmm... OH FUCK YEAH! Okay, now I came, its time for me to hit the red X and take a nap. Periods truly are magical...

Another Day at the Tard Farm

Normally work stories can be boring and irritating. Not where I work! I work at as a Tard Farmer (supervisor) in a Tard Farm (call centre). As fate or karma would have it, most of my employees are even more low-functioning than I am. As an autistic, recovering drug addict, bipolar, fecalfeliac with multiple personalities I am one of the saner ones there.

Case in point, before my lunch today, I went to the toilet for some snackers. I hit the MOTHERLOAD! It looked like someone tried to smuggle a bomb in their ass. There was shit spray all over the toilet, in the toilet with what either looks like either period blood or anal blood all over the toilet seat! Mmmmm......... MOTHER FUCKING DELICIOUS!



After cleaning the mess with my tounge, I sit and wonder who leaves these wonderful delicious gifts. I mean, this person normally either leaves a couple of corn dumplings or whipes period blood on the wall. Sometimes they even flush their used pads after taking a corn laden dump then try to flush it. It makes kind of a corn soup.

I remember this winter when the toilets overfload. It was so freaking awesome! It even seeped out from the bathroom into the carpet getting all squishy. It was even too much for me to eat. But, seriously, even though I am into all fecal and scatological, this shit can become a pain in the ass. I feel like showing everyone at work the magical period video telling you how to dispose of your magical period products. I remember in January, when I still had hope because I sniffing Jenkem daily, I wrote about how to dispose of used period products like an adult. I keep forgetting that tards can't read.

Thank the Great Almighty Poo that almost everyone there is female and the only males there are either flaming homos or too old to reproduce. If not, there would be daily tard romances in the breakroom. That is just too much. I'll have to check myself back into the psych ward.





Okay, these pictures and psych meds are starting to hurt my head. I'm going to get off of here and go to bed. With a day off tomorrow, I'll be sure to work really really hard on my homework, so this is not my destiny for life.

The Magic Of Period Week!

Guys!!! Its Period Week again! I started bleeding out of my crab shack today!!! I know, I am always way too excited about bleeding out of my diseased vaginal hole once a month, but it means I am not pregnant! Now, I know some people are a little slow when it comes to understanding the magic of periods. I love them. I love the squishiness of the blood in my diaper, and sometimes I get some blood dried to my pubes. After shaving my pubes for a long time, they went from being black to now brown. Its weird, its like shaving them changed the colour, but when I'm bleeding out of my cunt, they turn into a reddish hue. Still the carpet is lighter then the drapes. WTF? Here is a video for those who don't understand this magical time of month. Its all about what a period is and how to use pads! Yay! \

Now, this is a little outdated. I use depends instead of pads, because I only have to change them once a day. Between work, class, and group therapy, I just don't have the time to dick around with pads. Also, they smell MOTHER FUCKING DELICIOUS. I went to a fish fry tonight and I blended right in. I couldn't tell where the fish ended and my cunt began. Also, if I have to shit or piss and I'm busy, I just do it in the diaper. They make great corn snacks later on.

Life is awesome. I'm not pregnant. I'm getting healthier by the day. I know, its the magic of eating right (I get my veggies mostly from corn). I have been exercising by doing more than streaching my poopie hole and I've been expanding my life like my poopie hole outside the interwebs.

Dare I say it?? Popanator is becoming a woman in more than one way. I just took off my diaper and smeared the blood all over my chest like a badge of honour.

P.S. Period blood makes excellent lube for the poo hole. This is the week I don't have to buy any lube! YAY!

Chris Chan Trial of the Century (Warning Rant)

At first I was angrier than an Autistic with a broken Skyrim CD over the results of the trail. Chris Chan got away with 1 year community service, psychiatric treatment, and community service. Fuck! It sounds like at first the Autistic fuck got away with it.

Yes, I admit these past few months, I've been obsessed with the trial. I have seen way too many Autistics get away with disgusting, violent acts, and then use the Autism card and get off Scott Free. If they are that seriously fucked up, then why aren't they thrown in psych wards?! Why do they get the free pass?!

I looked at this further, with a different attitude. Chrissy did have to pay medical bills to Michael Snyder. He hit the guy with his car, twice. Yes, he is insane. I personally think he should have been locked up in a psych ward. Instead, he will be getting psychological treatment he desperately needs. Researching more into this autistic waste, I realize this is not a normal person with normal mental functions. He talks to his imaginary Sonichu character.



Also, community service for this fuck would be like a living hell. He dosen't work, doesn't want to, so this would a nightmare. He would actually have to do something positive for the community. Also, with probabtion, he would be kept on a short leash, unable to do some of his fucked up shit while he asspies out.

Okay, since I'm not a total asshole, I do hope this is the turning point in his life. Maybe, some good would come out of this. Sure, it just reinforces the Autism card could have one get away with attempted murder. I seriously hope Michael Snyder can heal from the trauma of having this piece of shit stalk him since '08. okay, back to topic, I seriously hope he gets psychological help and this community service helps him build some self-esteem from working.

Maybe, Chrissy will become an adult and move out on his own. Put this manchild life behind him. Oh, who the hell am I kidding?!

Here is a TRUE AND HONEST Facebook quote from our Chrissy hero:

Yep, the trolls know most of what went on in the court room yesterday; it is confirmed that two of them were in there, going by the online names of "Cyan" and "Indigo". Rob recognized them both, and informed them that their trolling stupid presence is noted and known. I have also found their transcribed, personal reports on the Cwcki Forum, and they have a 23 second video on YouTube of them driving by the courthouse and holding up the day's "New York Times" paper, titled "CyanIndigo", same as their account name. And they quoted me in calling Snyder "thieving and lying"; I had actually said "Bribing and lying".

Anyway, we ALL know of them, and they will be brought in regardless of currently being in Or outside of Virginia or even the United States of America.

Fistivus a holiday for the rest of us...

Well, poopie freaks, Popanator is the world's best problem solver. Those unpatriotic wankers have the fireworks ban through Saturday. I have a bunch of fireworks I need to set off. Well, here is the solution, if the unpatriotic poofters do not want us to celebrate the 4th of July then we need a new holiday...

FISTIVUS!!! The first anal Fistivus will be held Sunday July 8th! Here, we can shoot off fireworks, and I will ignite my artillery shells covered in DELICIOUS CORN LADEN POO! I will also celebrate by taking my glow sticks and hanging them out of my poopie hole while igniting these delicious fireworks.

Well, that is until I get fisted of course. I can't wait! I'll even shoot some bottle rockets out of my poo hole. That would be one flaming poopie. Tee hee!

Anyone else have any ideas on how to celebrate this brand spanking new Holiday? Leave them in the comments!!

Happy 4th of July

Happy Independence Day, my poopie freaks! I hope you are all enjoying delicious BBQs full of corn. Mmmmm.... Me and my daddie have something special planed. He heats up the grill and throws on some patties of delicious corn laden poo. It is vegan and delicious. If you jizz on them, like the fake Popanator taught me, you can make special sauce, just like the Big Macs at McDonalds.

To be extra fistive, I've been wearing the same panties for 3 days. I've been too busy to shower, so my panties smell MOTHER FUCKING DELICIOUS! I save up a few pairs I wear for a few days as air freshners.

Now, the only thing that fists my shit hole the wrong way, is the Fireworks ban in Indiana. I can't set off any of my poo laden fireworks. What I would do is take an artilery shell and shove it in a huge pile of CORN LADEN POO. Then I would set it off and corn would just fill the sky, it was all magical. I would dance around below and catch the little corn dumplings with my mouth.



But, I can't complain. I am grateful this year I have my freedom. Okay, not the freedom to set off delicious corn fireworks, but freedom nevertheless. I have freedom to pursue new oprotunties in my life.This is still a magical time in my life. Also, worse comes to worse, I'll just fling corn laden poo against the wall and it will splatter like a firework. It still looks kind of cool.



Seriously a good shit splatter against the wall looks like a firework. An edible delicious firework. I think I am going to decorate my house now. Happy 4th!