Poopie Society

I was watching an educational TV program again (because knowledge is a very important thing to me), and I heard a term that sounded pretty neat- the Groom of the Stool. Believe it or not, back in the olden days the sons of powerful noblemen would be the king's personal secretaries- and needless to say, kings being busy and powerful men, it also involved wiping their asses. I never would have thought of that! Poopy guards! They were a little bit like those gong farmers (they called shit "gong" back in those days- not sure why, I can't get mine to make a sound) who worked at night collecting all of the poopies from the people of the town.
I think, and I should definitely investigate this further, that this was actually the work of a poopy secret society. Think about it- the most powerful men collected the royal poopies from the king's arse itself, while the regular knight errants of the Order of the Brown Throne (that just sounded good to me) took it away, perhaps to trade with foreign powers. After all, poopies are just like brown gold, except that those cash for gold places don't pay you anything for them.

I'm thinking that the fact that even if you spray paint the poopies gold they won't get you any money is a modern day extension of the Order of the Royal Steamers, and their desire to collect all of the world's poopies and use them for whatever secret purposes they have. I finally get it! It all fits together perfectly! I have a unifying theory of shit! Take that, Stephen Hawking!

Shit Balls!

I saw this show on TV about dung beetles, and I think they are absolutely CUTE! Not only are these little buggy things that like to hang around in poopies. Now, as I enjoy upgrading my personal education, I paid very close attention to the poopy hoarding behavior of the dung beetles that were profiled in the show.
Some kinds of beetles like to push their shit balls around like some kind of a sport. Sounds like fun- maybe I'll try that later on. Poopy ball! But I started to get a little hot when it mentioned that some dung beetles don't bother with that, and just live in the poopy patch. Next time I'm out "shopping" for meadow muffins, I'll be sure to take a big wheel barrow so I can stock up. I need to redecorate anyway...

What's really cool about the dung beetles is that the mommy and the daddy dungie sometimes push the shit ball as a team. Maybe some day my Ethan and I will have our very own massive ball of shit- the American Dream made real. I'm sorry, but I've gotta fist my shit hole over that or I'll just explode. Kisses!

www.popanator.com

Here is a shorter domain name: http://www.popanator.com/ Same yummy stories, just a shorter link. Old still works too! Double win!

Winter Driving

It was so cold today and the heater went out on my car. My hands were freezing and sticking to the steering wheel. I had a wonderful Idea. I would put one fist up my poopie hole and drive with the other. I alternated all the way though the trip to work. My poopie hole is so warm and squishy and inviting! Better than gloves! The poopies would freeze on to my hands and I would have pooey popsicles. Mmmm...

Eat Shit and Live

I found this little jem on http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ Too bad those assholes banned me two months ago. But it seems like they are comming around to the shit eating philosophy!  I love the logic. We can eat shit, take a shit and reeat it! MMmmm... No need to buy any more pesky food. It will be natural and less wastefull. Those hippies are so smart!

Abortion Rant

I was reading about abortion and it looks like a lot of people are still doing it. What is wrong with those kinds of people, anyway? Why do they have to be violent with their kids, and why do they need to have sex if they aren't willing to have the consequences of it? I mean, if you don't want to have a kid, there are plenty of safe sex alternatives. For instance, do you realize that poopy hole fisting is a one hundred percent safe option for avoiding pregnancies and maximizing your pleasure? Nobody ever got a baby from a fist, people! If you don't want to breed you stupid animals, don't take dicks! Are you cock riding dumbasses too useless to control your own impulses, or are you just animals in heat?


You know what I want to do to an abortionist? I want to tie them up, crumple them into the fetal position, and give them the "joy" of being born again through shoving their heads up mah shit hole. That way one of two things is gonna happen. One possibility is that after a few dozen dunks, they will realize that not being inside of some dumbass who wants to hurt you is what makes life worth living- it's okay to deal with retards as long as you aren't jammed up inside of one of them.

The second thing is, maybe they will finally see the poopy visions that have been obvious to me this entire time, and they will finally convert to the poopy religion that I preach. My way is the right way, poopies are the gift straight out of heaven that we need to share with our kids, and you need to stop killing them you ratbag garbage fuckers!!!!!!1!!!!!

ICE CREAM!

It is so freaking cold outside. I went outside to play and see what treasures I could find. Unfortuantley the snow outside was over 6 inches. Enough to side a penis in and have a coldgasm, but not much else. I decided to just take a shit and leave. I sqwated down and took a nice long steamer and it plopped down in the snow. Mmmmm... But then my poopie immediatley froze. It looked like chocolate ice cream. I picked it up and tasted it! It was better than chocolate ice cream! Yum! I spent the rest of the day searching for brown snow and had my own little version of ice cream!!! YUMMY!

Zug

Okay, I've been recieving some questions about this. Yes, I have been banned from http://www.zug.com/ I don't know why. They thought I was funny enough to let me post for 5 months and then ban me out of nowhere. I have been accused in the past of having multiple accounts to 5 orb myself. A simple IP check would have solved that mystery. Oh, well, the site sucks dick and will never be as good as the Popanator blog. I will find other site to troll.

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Poopy Skating!

Oh, there's just nothing like the winter time. I love to go outside in the brisk air, and feel my nipples get all hard, and watch my cheeks get flushed. Ethan tells me I'm never cuter than when I get all “snow bunny.” So a little while ago, he took me poopy skating. I'd never done that before, but it sounded like fun. Basically, there are two ways that you can poopy skate if you love poopies as much as I do. You can skate around on a big field covered in poop (which can take a little while to build up), or you can coat your feet in soft, squishy poopies and slide around on a pretty smooth surface. So when he put a blindfold on me and took my hand, I had a feeling it was going to be a lot of fun.


We got to the poopy patch, and he took a big plastic tarp off of the area. He must have been working on the thing for months, because there was shit everywhere! I had never seen so much poop in one place before, and it was almost a religious experience for me. So we started skating around, and it was magical.
If you have never skated on poopies before, it is an almost indescribable experience to go through. The poop squished so deliciously under my feet- I felt like I was flying almost. And the notion that he'd done this just for me brought tears to my eyes. It's so wonderful to be loved like that.

Cottage Cheese

I have a nasty yeast infection right now. I mean it is so itchy I've been stratching at it all day. Spending all day poking at my vaggo, kinda made it open yet. It started opening more and more and my hand slid right in. I did the only thing that was reasonable I took out a whole handfull of cottage cheese out of my vag and ate it. It tasted like regular cottage cheese and had the delicious tuna smell. Mmmm...

Guest Post: My Autistic Brother Willie

Hey folks, it's Willie. Just letting you guys know that sis is too busy fisting herself or brushing her teeth with dead cat parts or something to write to you today- people get busy like that sometimes. Anyhow, I figured you guys might like to know what I've been up to the last few months. Truth be known, I'd be happy to tell you guys if I remembered it for myself. Sometimes I just kinda zone out for awhile, and then it's like Thursday. Which is kinda weird, because Thursday is just one day of the week, and it isn't even a special day. Maybe in Poppy's case, it's like "fist two shit holes day" or something like that- the girl's kinda weird.
Well, I did do one thing that's a bit notable lately. I made myself a sandwich. Even though they told me I could never do anything more cohesive with bread and stuff than just stack piece after piece after piece on top of each other (I like to stack a lot of stuff). So I found some marbles, and some speaker wires, and some orange jelly (because I like orange jelly), and I stacked 'em up. Just for some protein, I also put a little bit of tuna on my super sandwich. It was about a foot and a half high, and my instant calculations revealed that I couldn't fit the entire thing in my mouth.

So I took a razor blade, and I started cutting my mouth open- because I deserve to eat any size of sandwich I want to. And when I got my mouth open big enough, I started stuffing that bad boy down there the same way a worm would do.

Magick spell fail or win?

Disclaimer: This blurb is probably the most offensive yet. If you are weak and sensitive or one of those emo warlocks, click the red X now!

I was wanting to study how to be a warlock. That way I could conjure up things I wanted. Like delicious corn laden poo on demand. I wanted to a witch like Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Not only was she hot, but she could probably point that finger and cause any poopie hole to drop out the delicious poo nuggets!

Mmmm.... so I studied my elements and all that crap. Ugh! Too much work, I just wanted to point my finger and conjure up poopies. Maybe even ghost poopies. I would love to have a ghost poopie float around me at all times and be like my guardian.

After hours of pointing and wishing and chanting into candles it wasn't working. I got all depressed and went for a walk. Then I noticed a dead cat rotting on the side of the road. I picked it up for a quick snack and pressed on its abdomen. MMMmmm... Delicious poopies came out like a toothpaste tube. I realized, I don't need magic, what I need is all around me after all! If I want poopies just go on the side of the road. There is an abundance of poopies! I need to use the abundance mentality when it comes to DELICIOUS CORN LADEN POO!!!!!

May you always have an abundance of poopies!

My Ethan

My Ethan is always so helpful. He helps me shit and do all sorts of things. Whenever I am constipated he says down and has me squat over his mouth and use him as my personal toilet. He holds my hand because I have to strain in order to get the hard poopies out. MMmmm.... Then after I slide it in his mouth, he licks my poopie hole and cleans it up. I love to use his tounge as my toilet paper. Ethan is the best!

The perfect gift for your sweetest shit buddy!

Shit Porn!

I decided to surprise my Ethan with a visit today. I went over to his trailer and he was jacking off to shit porn. Now, being the modern girlfriend I am, I wasn't offended I decided to join. But, first I watched him fisting his poopie hole getting his hand all nice and squish and she started jacking off.

He got really into it and started rubbing the delicious poopies on his face. I was getting really turned on and walked into his trailer. He was so happy to see me! I licked the delicious corn laden poo off his body and he started fisting my poo hole and rubbing the delicious poopies on me.

 Mmmm.... He banged my poopie all nice and hard and shot a huge sticky load up there. The delicious cum laden poo leeked out and licked every last drop!

 Then we cuddled in the huge poopie patch we made. Nothing  is more romantic than cuddling in a big wet juicy poopie patch. Mmmm...

Shitty Philosophy

Get a Voki now!


Poopies... Are they dead, or alive. They sit there with their bacteria and they just lounge out in the Sun, but they don't ever move. Man, why don't they ever move?! They are like those guys who hang around in the park pretending to be statues, where you take your picture with 'em and they just keep standing there. But poopies have their beloved, tasty maggots that fuck 'em like they're in a porno, just in and out and in and out until you want the poopies to shriek out in pleasure. But they don't. Man, what a strange thing is shit- where does it really come from? And what does it really want?

Poll Results!!!

You asked for it so here it is:

A pic of the Popanator. And here is a pic of my poopie hole:


Enjoy!

Here is my store with shit on sale!

Dr. Popanator

I had this idea that maybe poopies did not necessarily need to come out of a poopy hole. You know how snake mommies and snake daddies get together and make little baby snakes? Well, what if poopy holes were nothing more than the entrance into a place where mommy and daddy poopies made their little poopy babies. Wouldn't that just make sense? So maybe, if somewhere in my pretty little guts there is a place where the poopies have their mating rituals and lay their little poopy eggs, it might be possible to breed poopies in the outside. So I got to thinking about setting up a poopy habitat for them.

One of the neat things about my poop fetish is that it still lends itself to some reason. For instance, I know that poopies are attracted to warm, dark places. So the first thing I did was get a red light bulb (like with photography) so the bathroom would be nice and dark. Then I filled the bath tub with nice, warm water. I figured that would be a good place to breed me some poopies. But then I remembered that it takes two, ya know? So I sat on the edge of the tub, and pumped me out a poopy mare and a poopy stud. It was kinda neat, because the stud starting chasing the mare around the tub almost immediately. I have to admit, I was cheerin' for him. I was also curious where he puts his poopy seed- this is some fascinating research, you know?
I'll report more when I know it. Then you can call me Dr. Popanator!